Holding on and letting go

(listening time: 4:08 minutes)

It has snowed again.

I value winter’s place in the cycle of seasons and its invitation to slow down and rest. But I’m eager for the snow and ice to melt so that Asha and I can walk freely in the woods. I’m ready to be off leash.

I bundle up in layers, clip Asha’s harness and leash on her, pocket some treats and we head down the road together.

When we reach the spot where the snowmobile trail crosses the road, I see that snowmobilers have been by. With a silent word of thanks to them for packing the fresh snow and making it possible for us to walk easily in the woods, we turn down the trail toward the bridge over gentle waters.

I pull a stick out of the snow and throw it. Asha tears after it, returns and we play tug with the stick. When I let go of it, she chews on it for a bit. Then she’s off after something else, leaving the stick in the middle of the path. I move the stick off to the side out of respect for the snowmobilers and suddenly she’s interested again. And so it goes.

This back-and-forth gets me thinking about the delicate balance between not giving up and knowing when to let go.

What am I holding onto, ignoring the fact that it’s time to let it go with a big thank-you? I wonder. What do I not want to give up, regardless of how challenging it is?

I’ve been sorting through books and papers on my shelves as well as documents and folders on my computer. I’ve cleaned out the junk drawer. I’ve sorted through my clothes closet. I’ve donated, gifted, recycled, shredded and deleted. I’ve also kept many things. This is something I do from time to time, especially when I feel stuck. This process of re-evaluating and letting go frees up energy and makes space for whatever is next.

But clutter comes in non-physical forms too. Stories about how I see myself. Rules I have unconsciously adopted. Ways I spend my time.

Things are stirring inside me and I know change is coming with my work. The specifics aren’t yet clear, but these questions of letting go and holding on will help guide the way.

If I were to start Whimsy & Tea from scratch, what would I keep? What am I not ready to give up? What no longer serves me or my customers?

Discerning when not to give up and when to let go is hard. Sometimes the going gets tough and I want to give up, yet it’s important to persevere. Other times I keep trying, keep tweaking, keep showing up, yet it’s time to let go and make room for something else.

I want the answers to come from my heart, my wise heart that knows the way, even if it can’t articulate it or draw a map.

Today I will play with the questions – toss them up for consideration, chew on the ones that intrigue me, move on to other questions and circle back when I’m ready.

As I throw another stick and watch Asha run after it, I hear my heart whisper, Don’t stop weaving kitchen towels and napkins. Keep walking and writing. Let go of your need for more specific answers. Keep asking questions and listening for your heart’s reply.